Thursday, September 14, 2006

Tae 11 - RE: Aircraft Dismemberments IV

Tim J Emert writes: "Well, we dropped it in a plastic baggie and put it on ice (teacher also cut his finger off once, so knew what to do. Keep it cold and dry. Right, Tae?) and sent him off to the emergency room, who took one look at the mangled chunk of meat in the baggie and threw it in the trash. "

Tae writes:

Absotively correct. You _could_ actually wrap the amputated part in gauze moistened with saline, but let's be serious for a moment: who the hell keeps saline around? Very rarely are amputated parts less than a 1/4 inch in length re-attached. It simply isn't worth the effort. And if the part is mangled or really dirty - forget it.

ObAside: I was once called to a posh home in Wellesley, MA, for a report of an 'amputation.' Upon arrival, I found a fourty-ish year-old women with an ENORMOUS bandage covering her hand. The fire department said that they recovered the amputated part, and had it on ice. I asked to look at the part, and saw the tip of the woman's finger in a plastic bag. Twasn't more than, oh say, 1/8 inch in length.

"Uh ma'am, I hate to say this - but I doubt that they'll be able to re-attach such a small piece back on."

"But they've GOT TO - I'm a concert violinist!"

"Well, we'll take it with us - but no promises."

After getting to the hospital, the surgeon took one look at this 'tip' and said:

"Sorry - can't do anything with this," and promptly dumped the baggie into the trash.

The grief-stricken woman stared straight ahead and said:

"I'll never play the violin again."

Most of the staff made their excuses and left the room - unable to stifle the urge to laugh.

- Tae
(Originally posted on Wed, 3 Aug 1994)

No comments:

Post a Comment