Sunday, October 29, 2006

SHAMPOO IS NOT LUBE!!

From Joseph Betz:

Thu, 23 Feb 1995

From: punque@netcom.com: "I have now read through this thread and I have come (pun intended?) to the conclusion that it is my responsibilty as a loving and caring mother, to inform my young son on what "to" use and what "not" to use when he begins to punish his stiffy on a regular basis. I thank all of you gentlemen for your experience and expertise in this area.

Vaseline Lotion & Oil = Good Shampoo & wet-wipes = Bad"

You might want to expand your knowledge base a bit before giving him the benefit of your expertise.

Suppose he starts asking about substances of which you are unsure?

Add these to your list, and continue to solicit advice from the phallically endowed, as to the safety and practicality of various dick-rubbing agents.

Cotton or acrylic socks ------------------- GOOD
Wool socks -------------------------------- BAD

Vegetable or food grade mineral oils ------ GOOD
Petroleum distillates --------------------- BAD

His sister's silk underwear --------------- GOOD

His mom's leather push-up bra ------------- BAD


Butter ------------------------------------ GOOD

Shortening -----------(are you nuts?)------ BAD


Glycerine --------------------------------- GOOD

Nitro-Glycerine --------------------------- BAD


Baby Oil ---------------------------------- GOOD

Baby diapers ------------------------------ BAD


Any others?

Major Matt Mason wrote:

Peanut Oil ---------------------------------- GOOD
Peanut Butter ------------------------------- BAD


Lamb's Wool --------------------------------- GOOD

Steel Wool ---------------------------------- BAD


Aloe Vera ----------------------------------- GOOD

Alum ---------------------------------------- VERY GOOD


From Steve Howie:

Castor oil ------------------------------------ GOOD
Castrol GTX ----------------------------------- GOOD

Castro -----------------------------------------VERY BAD


Silk ------------------------------------------ GOOD

Slik 50 --------------------------------------- BAD


From David Watson:

Hand ------------------------------------- GOOD
Sand ------------------------------------- BAD

Sandpaper -------------------------------- VERY BAD

Sandpiper -------------------------------- ULTRA-TINY CHOAD

Disc Sander ------------------------------ STUPID FUCKER

Black and Decker Drill ------------------- IAN DURY FAN


From Jeff Smith:

Lubriderm ------------------------------------- GOOD
Pachyderm ------------------------------------- BAD


Coppertone ------------------------------------ GOOD

Copper Sulfate -------------------------------- BAD


Nivea ----------------------------------------- GOOD

Nirvana --------------------------------------- VERY GOOD


From Major Matt Mason:

Powdered Graphite ---------------------------- GOOD
Graphite Fibers ------------------------------- BAD


Teflon ---------------------------------------- GOOD

Epoxy ----------------------------------------- BAD


Olive Oil ------------------------------------- GOOD

Olive Oyl ------------------------------------- VERY BAD

No comments:

Post a Comment