Ben Wa vs Ben Gay?

From: swan

MY fave set of Ben Wa balls was not originally designed as such.

Remember those delightful Health Balls that were popular during the Reagan Regime? Yeah, the big jingly ones!

Take a couple pairs of those suckers. Heat i pair gently to a warm (not fatally hot... unless yer INTO that) temperature... keep other pair in freezer for a while for a REAL chill!

Suspend victim in good Knee-Chest or Lithotomy position Trendelenberg is too restful...you want their ATTENTION!). Take chilled ben wa ball and insert into anus. VictH^H^H^H patient should notice this little operation. When he starts complaining about the "ice cube in his guts" you then alternate with HOT ben wa ball! With alternating hot and cold balls, the patient should begin a lively Watusi! this, of course, sets off the jingling!

Dipping the ben wa balls in tabasco or Ben Gay adds LOVELY grace notes to the performance! When the patient complains of the temperatures of the inserted balls, you merely advise him to wait till everything goes back to normal temperatures. He awaits this change only to discover the sauce you have prepared for him taking its effect!

Be SURE to do this little trick at HIS domicile! You see, shitting OUT the little balls is great fun, but DOES tend to crack porcelain! I once had a victim "fire" a Chinese Health Ball hard enough to lodge in a plaster wall!

If you have a good strong magnet, you can REALLY influence things!

Swan!

Always leave your subjects begging for more...morphine!

(Originally posted on 12 Sep 1995)