Prostate Ultrasound

From Billski:

Here's a story about how I spent one fun afternoon recently...

Me and the missus have been trying to have a kid, to no avail. The doctor says to me, "Well, let's get some semen samples just to rule you out". He actually gives me a prescription for a semen evaluation.. or looked at another way, a prescription to wank off!

Of course, it never entered my mind, the possibility that I could be the one who has the problem, but alas, I'm shooting blanks. So, I discuss things with the doc and he says we should get a prostate ultrasound. Great, I say, where do "we" get "our" prostate ultrasounded?

I schedule the appointment at the hospital, and show up on time. Earlier in the day, I had to give myself one of those Fleet enemas, just to make sure I didn't lay a steamy load of shit all over the doctor, I guess. But more on that later. I'm given one of those funky reverse Ass-B-Seen (tm) gowns to put on, and I'm shown to "the room". In the room is a table, lots of evil looking machinery, and a rather attractive ultrasound technician.

Have you ever had a prostate exam before? It goes like this: Dr. Ben Dover invites you to drop your pants and panties, and kindly requests you to lean over his table on your elbows. The, he proceeds to pull on the rubber glove (with the ObSnappingSound), and globs his index finger with K-Y jelly. Next thing you know, he's smoking a cigarette, and the two of you are picking out furniture together. Anyway, the prostate ultrasound is similar, except they use a device about the size of your average horse dick. I swear she needed 2 hands to lift this thing.

I asked, rather nonchalantly, if that was in fact for me. She grinned, evilly I must add, and told me that indeed it was. So, as if that wasn't weird enough, she pulls out a condom, and rolls it out over this device. And she unrolled it all the way to the end. She then puts a second rubber over the first, and smears a liberal amount of K-Y all over this deviant sex-toy from hell.

About this time the doctor strolls in. He has me get up on the table and lay on my side. Then someone from behind uncovers my ass, no doubt to the delight and amusement of all in the room. Then, just because he's a sick fuck, the doctor says he wants to check my prostate before they begin. What the fuck does he need to do that for? Does he think that maybe it moved since the last time he finger-fucked my ass? Or is he just a sicko pervert? Or maybe the others in the room dared him to? I have no idea.

Anyway, the technician says that she's going to insert the probe now. I grit my teeth and prepare for the worst. Well, she was good. She got that fucker in all the way on the first thrust. Actually, it wasn't all that bad, and under other circumstances (like when I could be alone with her), I might actually have enjoyed it! So she spent about 30 minutes moving this thing in and out and around. I'm not sure, but I think I heard the doctors chuckling several times during this whole procedure. The other cool part about this was the noises this probe made. Much what I imagine squicking to sound like. Finally, it was all over.

ObTastelessBodilyFunctionStory:

When at last all was done, she pulled it out of my now tender nether region. As she slowly eased ol' Mr. Ed from my arse, I could suddenly tell that the earlier Fleet thingy didn't do it's job 100%. Yup, sure enough, the anal probe brought forth a small gusher of ass sludge. Absolutely no substance or form to this goo, and as an added bonus, it was all mixed up nicely with the big globs of K-Y that had been up my ass for the last half hour! And talk about hard to clean up! I musta wiped my ass for 15 minutes before I finally got all that K-Y outta there. I wonder who the lucky bastard was that got to clean the table after I left! I shoulda asked to keep the goo as a souvenir, or at least got a picture of me, the goo, and the ultrasound tech together.

...Billski...

(Originally posted on Fri, 6 Oct 1995)