SHAMPOO IS NOT LUBE!!

From Joseph Betz:

Thu, 23 Feb 1995

From: punque@netcom.com: "I have now read through this thread and I have come (pun intended?) to the conclusion that it is my responsibilty as a loving and caring mother, to inform my young son on what "to" use and what "not" to use when he begins to punish his stiffy on a regular basis. I thank all of you gentlemen for your experience and expertise in this area.

Vaseline Lotion & Oil = Good Shampoo & wet-wipes = Bad"

You might want to expand your knowledge base a bit before giving him the benefit of your expertise.

Suppose he starts asking about substances of which you are unsure?

Add these to your list, and continue to solicit advice from the phallically endowed, as to the safety and practicality of various dick-rubbing agents.

Cotton or acrylic socks ------------------- GOOD
Wool socks -------------------------------- BAD

Vegetable or food grade mineral oils ------ GOOD
Petroleum distillates --------------------- BAD

His sister's silk underwear --------------- GOOD
His mom's leather push-up bra ------------- BAD

Butter ------------------------------------ GOOD
Shortening -----------(are you nuts?)------ BAD

Glycerine --------------------------------- GOOD
Nitro-Glycerine --------------------------- BAD

Baby Oil ---------------------------------- GOOD
Baby diapers ------------------------------ BAD

Any others?

Major Matt Mason wrote:

Peanut Oil ---------------------------------- GOOD
Peanut Butter ------------------------------- BAD

Lamb's Wool --------------------------------- GOOD
Steel Wool ---------------------------------- BAD

Aloe Vera ----------------------------------- GOOD
Alum ---------------------------------------- VERY GOOD

From Steve Howie:

Castor oil ------------------------------------ GOOD
Castrol GTX ----------------------------------- GOOD
Castro -----------------------------------------VERY BAD

Silk ------------------------------------------ GOOD
Slik 50 --------------------------------------- BAD

From David Watson:

Hand ------------------------------------- GOOD
Sand ------------------------------------- BAD
Sandpaper -------------------------------- VERY BAD
Sandpiper -------------------------------- ULTRA-TINY CHOAD
Disc Sander ------------------------------ STUPID FUCKER
Black and Decker Drill ------------------- IAN DURY FAN

From Jeff Smith:

Lubriderm ------------------------------------- GOOD
Pachyderm ------------------------------------- BAD

Coppertone ------------------------------------ GOOD
Copper Sulfate -------------------------------- BAD

Nivea ----------------------------------------- GOOD
Nirvana --------------------------------------- VERY GOOD

From Major Matt Mason:

Powdered Graphite ---------------------------- GOOD
Graphite Fibers ------------------------------- BAD

Teflon ---------------------------------------- GOOD
Epoxy ----------------------------------------- BAD

Olive Oil ------------------------------------- GOOD
Olive Oyl ------------------------------------- VERY BAD